Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
