I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
