if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
