Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
