Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
