she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
