Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
