4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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