nutella sex= disaster
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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