i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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