So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
