You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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