i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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