Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
