Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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