i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
