I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
