butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
In America we eat man semen.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
