At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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