mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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