Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
