dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
