Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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