..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You have to summon your inner elephant
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
