I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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