how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
