I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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