It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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