Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
