dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
