we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
