I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
