he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
