Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Randomize