You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
