Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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