whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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