he wants to bone in the snuggie
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
