Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
