It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
