Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize