I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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