What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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