Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
