i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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