But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
