is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
