I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
