You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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