I want to walk on stilts...naked
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
