the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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