She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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