Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
