I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
