so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
