margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
