After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
