I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
