i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
