Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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